20 Comments
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Christine Witcher's avatar

✨This is the skin of a killer, Jack✨

You managed to keep a no-action scene engaging, exciting, and well paced. No notes. Loved it. More kisses, please.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you!!! No more kisses for vampires unfortunately 🥲

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Lady Of The Lake's avatar

DON'T YOU DARE-

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Anoushka's avatar

oh my gosh i'm going to CRYYYYY. how could you write them finally FINALLY kissing and then take it all back to serious????

but i also LOVED THIS CHAPTER. jack's lines are as epic as ever: "A gnome? Sure. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, of course. A gnome. Makes sense. The Keebler elves own a bakery, too, you know.” love how gill's explaining the whole story to jack like he's a little kid ("bad guys, you know") and he doesn't even seem to mind 😂

i don't know if i mentioned this, but that glimpse you wrote into chapter 13 about gillian's past and luca was very epic and i was thinking about that all throughout reading this! anyway, THIS WAS FAB and i can't wait for more!!!!!

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

I’m so glad you liked it!! And I’m sorry they had to break their kiss short, it wasn’t up to me 🥲 I will tell you a secret, they were never supposed to kiss in this scene at all but they wanted to and who am I to get in the way of their chemistry??

I actually wasn’t sure if their dialogue fit in with their personalities in this chapter so im glad you enjoyed it! 😂

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Rose Rodriguez's avatar

OMG coming back and reading that they KISSED🥲 I’m feeling so many things, I missed this story so much😭

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Yay you’re back!! But also… don’t get to used to your happy kissing feelings with them 😅😅

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Rose Rodriguez's avatar

This warning came a moment too late😭

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Damn this was even more engaging

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

😭😭

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Devyn T Moore's avatar

"The Keebler elves own a bakery, too, you know."

Oh man, the humor in this was amazing. I do really enjoy Jack's sense of humor and Gill(ian)'s misunderstanding most of it. I think you have done an amazing job of making both characters believable, flawed, and perfect all at once.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

🥹🥹🥹 thank you!

And I loved writing that line about the Keebler elves haha I crack myself up sometimes 😂

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Devyn T Moore's avatar

SUCH a great line haha

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Asteria Geisterblum's avatar

The way this tossed me around like I’m a fkn play ball or something

First they kiss, I’m cheering, finally!

They get cute with each other, more cheering

Mood fkn shifts! Not cute! Like, come on Happy, let them catch a damn break 😭

So now they are getting more distanced again (hello, I’m falling apart here in the comments!)

And then he keeps his distance on the train too! wtf jack! Man up!

And the ending???? He better not be saying it in his head like some dirty word or I’m boarding that train 😭😭

But seriously, your description game is HUGE, the kiss scene and the way they touched and mingled was so good! And Gillian’s emotions are coming through so well, just like jacks wimpy stupidity. Dude gotta man up 🥲

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Hahahah men are trash, he can’t help it 🤷‍♀️

I actually broke up the kissing just for you since I know you don’t like romance. You’re welcome 😌

Anyway I am over here grinning like a maniac becuase I made it into your work week reading and didn’t have to wait for Sunday 🥹🥹

Thanks for the feedback and sorry for the roller coaster of emotions 🥲

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Asteria Geisterblum's avatar

I’m gonna help him to some manners 😭wtf

Sure go ahead and send the people with pitchforks towards me 😂💛

You always make it to my work week readings 🥹 I read it a while ago and didn’t want to comment in a hurry so I read it again today to comment

And I’ll read it again Sunday 😂💛

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Hehehe I’m going to just add a link to you any time I write something people hate. Little Sir Menace made me do it 😈

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Lady Of The Lake's avatar

OH MY GOSH HAPPY WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THAT ONLY TO RUIN IT LESS THAN A SENTENCE LATER. SERIOUSLY???

Like... come ON!

That was so sweet and then SO MADDENING.

Pretty please, I need the follow up quicklyyyy.

Also, side note, but loved the way you worded everything in this chapter. No critiques.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Sorry 😬

😈

So glad you liked it! I can’t keep up this writing pace unfortunately so who knows when the next one will be done 🥲

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Lady Of The Lake's avatar

I feel that. I still haven't finished the next OAD yet...

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