26 Comments
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Andrew Taylor's avatar

the luca reference is SO funny, makes me wonder how many things they know humanity “got wrong”

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

🤭

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Matt Pincott's avatar

FYI - because people read on here with different settings, I'd recommend a white background for your drawings instead of transparent. Dark mode really doesn't like them! While I'm here, you probably want to fix the sentence with 2 dusks too.

But these are tiny things, and I'm still loving the story.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you, that’s annoying!

And wow, thanks very much for the dusk call out 🤦‍♀️

Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!!

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Lady Of The Lake's avatar

My brain got tired just looking at those drawings... poor Jack and Gillian.

Love this little addition!

Maybe add a bit where Jack thinks it's strange that Gillian only goes out at night. It should be pretty apparent to him by now, and night tours are definitely less popular, so I think he would have noticed.

Fun interactions! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Ah yes, Jack does seem a bit oblivious sometimes doesn't he? lol Thanks for the feedback!

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Asteria Geisterblum's avatar

I just love their dynamic SO much, it’s always so fun to read

I can’t wait to see where this goes

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you for always being so supportive!

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Suswati Basu's avatar

I love this, this reimagining is really taking shape.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you!

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Lady Of The Lake's avatar

I’ll read this tomorrow!

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Andrew Thomas's avatar

1. Did you spend time in London? Or just research?

2. Our protagonists share a name and it’s kinda funny to be going through both at the same time.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

I've been to London before but 90% of the things in the book were from research. The only place I've actually visited that I mention is King's Cross Station.

I noticed that too and thought it was funny. Colby Jack is a much better name as a whole tho hehehe

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Production value went up in this one lol. Fr though, the drawings were dope, it helped the process for sure.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Lmao

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Al is a menace

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

He really is lol

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Ed the Editor's avatar

I’m not great at praise, but I’m on chapter 9 and I just started listening to the story today. Hopefully that says more than my feeble attempts at praise would.

So, all my remarks are in response for your request for feedback and I actively listen in editor mode. Not because I only criticize 😅.

Noticed a missed word: “Once he was in the alcove, his eyes widened as [he] saw an array”

Audio note: I would have missed the drawings if I didn’t happen to see them before listening. Not a big deal because I could imagine it.

Some of the first feedback I got from others listening to TSA was that the characters teleported a lot. When reading, the chapter break lines are obvious. Not so much when listening. The listener would get confused for a minute until it became obvious the location changed.

So we added in more descriptive text for scene changes and added a 2.5s pause. That’s what ACX recommends as well as some pauses at start, flashbacks, chapter close, etc.

The chapter close pause was important for 11 Labs because it cuts off the last word often.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you! This is so helpful! For a while I felt like I was the only one listening to the audio version so I didn’t pay much attention but I’ve gotten a few comments about it recently so I appreciate any tips you have!

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Ed the Editor's avatar

You’re welcome. I’d only read like one or two books a year if I didn’t have audiobooks. I listen to a couple dozen books a year instead.

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Tamsin Gordon's avatar

This is so fun Happy! I'm thoroughly enjoying reading your writing.

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you Tasmin!! I’m so glad to hear that 🥹

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Anoushka's avatar

i don't know if it's because i'm reading this chapter such a long time after the previous one or if your writing and the story just keep getting better, BUT I LOVE THIS EVEN MORE THAN I REMEMBER. jack being a clueless little munchkin is so cute!!! but him hiding those papers when gillian came in... 🤔

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you like it!

And you’re the first one to mention the papers 😏

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Devyn T Moore's avatar

OPE! First of all FINALLY. I loved it. I'm really enjoying the progression of their relationship. Uou are doing a great job at keeping the story moving without rushing OR dragging. Excited for next time 😊😊

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Thanks! 💚

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