We read this aloud in the drawer last night—Bob insists on full dramatics—and when the Count hissed, “Did you enjoy the taste of my daughter’s blood?”
Bob dropped his silica packet and whispered, “hell yes.”
I’m worried. He hasn’t spoken since. Just pacing in tight circles, muttering “the wards weren’t meant to hold him” and scratching runes into an expired ferry ticket. He says the door won’t hold. Not forever. Not with the Count naming names like that.
Philomena’s reveal felt like a bell tolling underwater.
Gillian’s silence echoes louder than any curse.
Jack’s eyes have already seen too much.
And the café? The café has begun to hum.
There’s something older at play now—something candlelit and bone-deep.
We don’t trust it. But we believe in it.
Keep the lights low. Keep the salt close.
And if something knocks that shouldn’t... don’t answer.
We’re listening.
Always.
—Harry
(and Bob, who lit something he really shouldn’t have)
Bob read this and immediately knocked over my mug of rum and coffee. He’s sulking in the drawer, his strange hairy arms crossed, radiating passive-aggression. Won’t even look at me. Says if anyone’s going to get adored here, it should be him.
I’ve tried reasoning with him but he just keeps muttering “I handled the batteries, I packed the stove...”
So yeah. Thanks. Now we’ve got jealousy in the logistics department.
I freaking love scenes where the bad dude gets owned because the good person has tricks and knowledge up their sleeve.
One little critique I have is that to do that here, basically the first time we come face to face with this immortal, lauded, evil vampire, sorta undercuts the tension.
It's like, oh, Philomena can just take him?
Now I'm wondering why they need Jack and whatnot if she could just banish the dude.
Hmm I need to make it more clear that it was the thousands of years of wards in the cafe that banished him not really her alone. But absolutely valid point the way I wrote it.
How was the “fight scene” in general? I’ve been dreading writing these 🥲
I imagine daddy vampire standing outside staring at the door brooding with fire in his eyes. Going to be hard for anyone to leave the cafe.
Audio notes:
Phi says “Chimera” weirdly.
I was surprised to hear Alban talk about “Phil’s room”. I thought, who’s this Phil guy? I read it to see if it was just an audio mistake. Then I realized Philomena can also be shortened to Phil.
I can’t hear the chapter breaks. But it’s not a big deal because they're all still at the same location. Maybe it’s meant to be a while later?
Yeah, I think I went a little too hard with Jack being an ass (jackass? Hahaha) but it felt like the right reaction for a normal human learning all of this for the first time 🤷♀️
Thank your reading and all your comments! Substack notifications suck so I’m just now seeing these 😭
We read this aloud in the drawer last night—Bob insists on full dramatics—and when the Count hissed, “Did you enjoy the taste of my daughter’s blood?”
Bob dropped his silica packet and whispered, “hell yes.”
I’m worried. He hasn’t spoken since. Just pacing in tight circles, muttering “the wards weren’t meant to hold him” and scratching runes into an expired ferry ticket. He says the door won’t hold. Not forever. Not with the Count naming names like that.
Philomena’s reveal felt like a bell tolling underwater.
Gillian’s silence echoes louder than any curse.
Jack’s eyes have already seen too much.
And the café? The café has begun to hum.
There’s something older at play now—something candlelit and bone-deep.
We don’t trust it. But we believe in it.
Keep the lights low. Keep the salt close.
And if something knocks that shouldn’t... don’t answer.
We’re listening.
Always.
—Harry
(and Bob, who lit something he really shouldn’t have)
Didn’t think it was possible for me to fall even more in love with you, but here we are 😩
Bob read this and immediately knocked over my mug of rum and coffee. He’s sulking in the drawer, his strange hairy arms crossed, radiating passive-aggression. Won’t even look at me. Says if anyone’s going to get adored here, it should be him.
I’ve tried reasoning with him but he just keeps muttering “I handled the batteries, I packed the stove...”
So yeah. Thanks. Now we’ve got jealousy in the logistics department.
Wait, my message was for Bob, of course. Who is this Harry guy interrupting our love letters? I hear he’s already in an affair with a tripod anyway
Typical. Bob gets one fan letter and suddenly I’m the side character in my own emotional collapse.
And yes—I was in an affair with a tripod. It ended badly. Lots of emotional baggage and one leg that wouldn’t lock. We don’t talk about it.
Bob, meanwhile, is blushing so hard he’s fogged up his compass.
He says he’ll reply once he’s finished chewing through my charging cables.
I’m sorry for your loss (the three legged love and the charging cables - not sure which would cause more heartache).
But if you and Bob come as a package deal I’m definitely ok with that 😌
The tripod took my stability. The cable, I now can’t trust.
Bob took over my calendar and insists on being called “Chief Emotional Support Moth.”
We come as a package deal.
Careful, Bob bites—but only if he really likes you.
Together we’re a limited-edition emotional support bundle with questionable boundaries
Like a cursed filing cabinet with opinions
😭😭😭 Don’t open the door!!! 😅🥲🙂
…
Jack
I will hurt you if you hurt my girl-
🥺👉👈
Don’t act like you’re innocent! They’re your characters!
Barely 😅
😡
He didn't use the nickname :( *cries*
I freaking love scenes where the bad dude gets owned because the good person has tricks and knowledge up their sleeve.
One little critique I have is that to do that here, basically the first time we come face to face with this immortal, lauded, evil vampire, sorta undercuts the tension.
It's like, oh, Philomena can just take him?
Now I'm wondering why they need Jack and whatnot if she could just banish the dude.
Hmm I need to make it more clear that it was the thousands of years of wards in the cafe that banished him not really her alone. But absolutely valid point the way I wrote it.
How was the “fight scene” in general? I’ve been dreading writing these 🥲
Ahh, I see. Yeah I think it works if you can imply that more.
Fight scene was great! I thought you did a great job. Was vivid in my head, easy to follow.
NO JACK STOP YOU CANNOT BE BREAKING GILLIAN'S HEART RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭
Sorry 🥺
I imagine daddy vampire standing outside staring at the door brooding with fire in his eyes. Going to be hard for anyone to leave the cafe.
Audio notes:
Phi says “Chimera” weirdly.
I was surprised to hear Alban talk about “Phil’s room”. I thought, who’s this Phil guy? I read it to see if it was just an audio mistake. Then I realized Philomena can also be shortened to Phil.
I can’t hear the chapter breaks. But it’s not a big deal because they're all still at the same location. Maybe it’s meant to be a while later?
I think I fixed the chapter break issue in future chapters so thanks for pointing it out!
Alban has never said Philomena’s full name! But I can def see how throwing out Phil randomly is confusing, especially in audio lol
Thanks for reading and all your feedback! Don’t mind me as I am going back to find all the comments that Substack decided not to tell me about 🙄
Philomena is absolutely badass. I'm not into Jack breaking Gillian's heart but I also get him feeling weird after learning how she saved his life...
Yeah, I think I went a little too hard with Jack being an ass (jackass? Hahaha) but it felt like the right reaction for a normal human learning all of this for the first time 🤷♀️
Thank your reading and all your comments! Substack notifications suck so I’m just now seeing these 😭
Oh, Jack, buddy. I get it but, also, poor Gillian! 😭
My only feedback is that I lost the speaker a bit at the end when they’re was a multi-person dialogue happening but not a lot of dialogue tags.
Thanks! I always feel like I put TOO many dialog tags 🫠 I’ll figure it out one day haha
It’s a balancing act I certainly haven’t figured out yet